Author Topic: The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings  (Read 515 times)

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Offline Fr33zy

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The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings
« on: July 07, 2011, 09:54:58 am »
So. I decided finally to delve into the amazing experience of PC gaming.  Weeeee!!!

After loading up Skype so I could talk to my boyfriend and hopefully make the experience not so terrible I loaded it up.

You play some General guy, and thats all I really cared about as I attempted to skip the first half hour of cutscenes. Anyway heres what plays out.

>You save King
>Become BFFs 4 eva
>King dies, you get accused.

T'was then I discovered the combat, because literally, 30 or so enemies jumped out of the freaking walls and started attacking, the game meanwhile threw up a prompt telling me how to fight that stayed up for about three seconds. And I pulled out my sword, just not the right one.

Yeah it turns out you have two swords in this game. One for monsters and one for humans and if you pull out the wrong one the game laughs at you like a little school girl. I have NO idea how much cocaine was being snorted when this design decision was made by the way.

Anyway, the game plays like ANY other action RPG ever and the brown, bland landscapes certainly don't help the experience, not to mention the "gentlemanly" aspects. Which I call the F5 syndrome.

For instance. Geralt won't drink potions in a battle, meaning you have to drink them before a scripted sequence in which enemies jump in. So its ANYONE'S guess what potion you drink.At one point I chugged a fortify health potion and promptly was attacked by a giant spider using poison. I had plenty of antidote, but couldn't use any of it until after the fight was over. So I died. Luckily as you quickly learn. Quicksaving every 5 seconds is your friend.

and I just wanna add ONE thing here. What is the point of an Inventory screen if every time I try to use an item the game says

"Lawl you wanna equip an Item here well thats to bad you have to equip each one in a a single submenu out of another two dozen submenus and no we're not gonna tell you which one tee hee hee"

The worst part is the praise reviewers are giving it, its really sad. Maybe its just because I'm new to RPGs. Or old. Or what ever. But honestly. I love RPGs, Final Fantasy XII may be one of my favorite games. And I actually HATE it when they are horribly dumbed down like FFXIII.

I don't know, all I think is that they really missed the mark with this game. And it certainly stopped me from buying yet another sequal.

So with that I close Skype, log off Steam and return to the land of console games, were I can have fun wholesome gaming fun with incredibly unique and well built games like Halo Reach and Call of Duty Black Ops.