Author Topic: Les Miserables: The review  (Read 941 times)

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Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Les Miserables: The review
« on: May 12, 2013, 06:55:59 am »
Update: 13/05/2013 19:24
Yeah, needed another look in methinks...

In a word?
...
Shite.

OK, yes, I can sympathize as to why it got such an earth shattering reception. An all star cast, some impressive cinematography, a classic stage show adaption, it had good things headed for it. So I was fairly hyped, I had to admit. So I sat in my chair, with my popcorn, and I can safely say I have never wanted to leave a cinema more in my whole life.

I'm sorry, but I just can't enjoy it at all. Primarily because, musically, it is just very, very weak. A three and a half opera, and yet most of it is just quite poorly written lyrics, that don't really belong in a song, more in an actual playbook, and melodically, most of it is just the same one tune repeated ad sodding nausium. Sorry, but I can't appreciate a piece of what's considered high standard songwriting, when melodically it's just so... bland really.

Story wise, it's based of real life events, but definitely doesn't appeal to me at all. It's just making a point of heaping on pile of misery, after misery, after misery, to the point where I can't even take it seriously and I just have to chuckle at how forced it all seems sometimes... Then again, maybe from the title, I should've expected that, although, just because something's barefaced about how poor it is, it doesn't stop it from being poor... Although I still hold testament it is all based around a single piece of bread (I mean, my god Russel, I know you like to make a scene of things but GET OVER IT!!!).

Acting wise, just what you'd expect from an opera, Hammier than an obese Pig. However, I suppose this can work sometimes, a good example being Sasha Baron Cohen, and Helena Bonham Carter, who are actually quite entertaining to watch, and actually stop you from being completely bored to death, quite a task I think...
And as for the musical performances... Meh, average Opera stuff, which I suppose is above most people's average. However, if I ever have to hear either Russel Crowe, or Hugh Jackman's voice ever again, I may just piss blood...

So overall, boring story, boring music, hammy acting, boring singing, it's just very, very, very BORING!!!!
However, on the upside, some very impressive cinematography here and there, the odd nice song, and a very nice performance from Anne Hathaway.

There, a sensible re-write I think. Now will that sate the butt-hurt Les Mis fan base? Let's find out next week on... TJMan!!!
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 02:38:56 pm by TerrojaTheBadger »
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Offline Ozzy Pawsbourne

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2013, 02:24:23 pm »
It doesn't even sound like you watched this movie at all because a majority of what you typed is completely irrelevant to the movie's plot. Your review sounds like Armond White. You have no real meat and bones to this review, it's more like a half-assed rant on a movie that you watched 20 minutes of as opposed to the entire thing. The movie is entirely about its original French title, which can be translated from the French as The Miserable, The Wretched, The Miserable Ones, The Poor Ones, The Wretched Poor, or The Victims that refers to the June Rebellion of 1832, you should actually watch the movie and pay attention before making some poorly constructed, one-sided review on a good movie and having no idea about the actual historical events that make up the movie itself. Or at least do some research on the actual movie.

Where did you ever get this
Quote
it's all about frigging BREAD!!!!
malarkey? That has nothing to do with the plot.
Your review looks like you just posted it to get your post count up.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2013, 07:01:39 pm by Edaro »

Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2013, 02:16:38 pm »
It doesn't even sound like you watched this movie at all because a majority of what you typed is completely irrelevant to the movie's plot. Your review sounds like Armond White. You have no real meat and bones to this review, it's more like a half-assed rant on a movie that you watched 20 minutes of as opposed to the entire thing. The movie is entirely about its original French title, which can be translated from the French as The Miserable, The Wretched, The Miserable Ones, The Poor Ones, The Wretched Poor, or The Victims that refers to the June Rebellion of 1832, you should actually watch the movie and pay attention before making some poorly constructed, one-sided review on a good movie and having no idea about the actual historical events that make up the movie itself. Or at least do some research on the actual movie.

Where did you ever get this
Quote
it's all about frigging BREAD!!!!
malarkey? That has nothing to do with the plot.
Your review looks like you just posted it to get your post count up.

Yes, I did watch the movie, from start to finish, in a cinema, and I can quite safely say I was never more bored watching a film. And as for my comment about it being about bread... In case you haven't noticed, that was kinda the reason Russel narcoleptic whale Crowe ponced around France for three and a half hours was because "You stole a loaf of bread! Once a criminal always a criminal!" Jesus wept man, GET OVER IT!!!! Yes, I know more than enough about it's history, the events, but that doesn't stop it from being three and a half hours of pretentious, musically unsatisfying, boring drivel.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 02:22:08 pm by TerrojaTheBadger »
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Offline Teapot

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2013, 03:36:37 pm »
Russel Crowe wasn't chasing Hugh Jackman because of the bread, but incase you weren't paying attention Hugh Jackman decided to break his parole. He'd done his time for the bread and russel crowe was trying to get him to do more time for breaking his parole.
-inspirational quote-

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Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2013, 03:37:36 pm »
Russel Crowe wasn't chasing Hugh Jackman because of the bread, but incase you weren't paying attention Hugh Jackman decided to break his parole. He'd done his time for the bread and russel crowe was trying to get him to do more time for breaking his parole.
My god... I'm really surprised people haven't noticed I'm taking the mickey out of it yet...
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Offline Ozzy Pawsbourne

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2013, 03:40:08 pm »
Yes, I did watch the movie, from start to finish, in a cinema, and I can quite safely say I was never more bored watching a film. And as for my comment about it being about bread... In case you haven't noticed, that was kinda the reason Russel narcoleptic whale Crowe ponced around France for three and a half hours was because "You stole a loaf of bread! Once a criminal always a criminal!" Jesus wept man, GET OVER IT!!!! Yes, I know more than enough about it's history, the events, but that doesn't stop it from being three and a half hours of pretentious, musically unsatisfying, boring drivel.
Jean Valjean was imprisoned for stealing bread to feed his sister's children during a time of economic depression and an attempted prison escape, yes. He stole bread. What you are leaving out is that he escaped from prison which is why he was being chased in the first place. He's not getting chased because he stole bread, he's getting chased because he escaped. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2013, 03:41:26 pm »
Jean Valjean was imprisoned for stealing bread to feed his sister's children during a time of economic depression and an attempted prison escape, yes. He stole bread. What you are leaving out is that he escaped from prison which is why he was being chased in the first place. He's not getting chased because he stole bread, he's getting chased because he escaped. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Again, taking the mickey... And in case you haven't reread my rewritten review, a lot of my complaints in the movie aren't based around the plot in and of itself...
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Offline Ozzy Pawsbourne

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2013, 04:33:53 pm »
You're way to ignorant and egotistical for me to even proceed further on your horrid, Armond White style, review. Also, I'm unaware of what
Quote
taking the mickey out of it
means because it's not used in the western hemisphere. This review is biased and a complete waste of time with barely any real explanation of your opinions on anything other than the music, which by the way is repetitive because it's supposed to be and is thematically repetitive. You've lost all credibility for any review you ever right from me, not that I think you care, and your review was so over the top pointed at negative, just for the sake of being negative.  Please quit trying to prove that you know anything about film with a review that looks like it was contrived even before watching the film. This was a spectacular film and the big actors will get there well deserved accolades.

Au revoir.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 05:23:37 pm by Edaro »

Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2013, 05:08:59 pm »
You're way to ignorant and egotistical for me to even proceed further on your horrid, Armond White style, review. Also, I'm unaware of what
Quote
taking the mickey out of it
means because it's not used in the western hemisphere. This review is biased and a complete waste of time with barely no explanation of your opinions on anything other than the music, which by the way is repetitive because it's supposed to be and is thematically repetitive. You've lost all credibility for any review you ever right from me, not that I think you care, and your review was so over the top pointed at negative, just for the sake of being negative.  Please quit trying to prove that you know anything about film with a review that looks like it was contrived even before watching the film. This was a spectacular film and the big actors will get there well deserved accolades.

Au revoir.

Taking the mickey, means mocking, I was mocking how seriously the film took itself, and how seriously its fan base takes itself. Just my own little personal joke there.

OK, firstly, you quite clearly haven't reread my review after I've rewritten it. Probably because that means you can't play the whiny, butt-hurt fan boy, a role which, from what I'm reading here, you seem to adore playing. Secondly, yes, it is thematically repetitive, but that doesn't constitute good, it's really the same problem I have with minimalist music, it's dull, it's not (to me), at all pleasant to listen to. Sorry for liking my music interesting, varied and melodic, maybe that's just my cross to bear. And thirdly, I was actually quite looking forward to this movie, so please don't make snap judgement's like that. And fourthly and finally, the fact that I've lost credit from someone I've never known, and never will know, really doesn't bother me, and it never will. I'm sorry, but I just found it very, very dull. However, unlike yourself, I will at the very least, respect that you like it, and not play the butt hurt fan boy, good day to you.
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Offline Morris Archeltum

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2013, 07:30:18 pm »
Eh...if you didn't like it you didn't like it. I haven't seen the movie myself, but that's mostly because I don't like musical movies. Don't get me wrong, I love musicals. I remember going to see the stage play of Les Mis and enjoying it a lot. And even one of my favorite movies of all time, Chicago, is a musical, but for the most part, the movie never matches the experience of going to a theater. There's something about it that I can never put my finger on, but I'm always hesitant to go see the movie version of a musical.

So, although I am a fan of this musical, I can see where you're coming from...although come to think of it, the only pros you gave to the movies were about cinematography...either way...your opinion, not going to hate you for it.
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Offline TerrojaTheBadger

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Re: Les Miserables: The review
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2013, 07:40:38 pm »
Eh...if you didn't like it you didn't like it. I haven't seen the movie myself, but that's mostly because I don't like musical movies. Don't get me wrong, I love musicals. I remember going to see the stage play of Les Mis and enjoying it a lot. And even one of my favorite movies of all time, Chicago, is a musical, but for the most part, the movie never matches the experience of going to a theater. There's something about it that I can never put my finger on, but I'm always hesitant to go see the movie version of a musical.

So, although I am a fan of this musical, I can see where you're coming from...although come to think of it, the only pros you gave to the movies were about cinematography...either way...your opinion, not going to hate you for it.
Thank you! finally a sensible point of view...
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