Author Topic: Honest Concerns  (Read 6009 times)

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Offline Assan

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #20 on: August 10, 2015, 05:11:01 pm »
Okay here it goes, all the mods need to be talking here, all of you and people you cant hate on all of them for the wrongs of a few, and yeah I know they are big wrongs, I wont disagree there but you cant hate all for that. Look at Icee for example she is trying to help, trying really hard. We cant solve stuff without people wanting to help solve it instead of only yelling into this mess. I want to thank all the people though that have voiced their concerns though, we need that to. Now is the time to fix it, or at the very least talk about fixing it.
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2015, 05:20:26 pm »
Okay here it goes, all the mods need to be talking here, all of you and people you cant hate on all of them for the wrongs of a few, and yeah I know they are big wrongs, I wont disagree there but you cant hate all for that. Look at Icee for example she is trying to help, trying really hard. We cant solve stuff without people wanting to help solve it instead of only yelling into this mess. I want to thank all the people though that have voiced their concerns though, we need that to. Now is the time to fix it, or at the very least talk about fixing it.

this isn't the wrongs of a few
they all knew about it
:/ :/ :/

anyways

y'all banned fjordy for mocking users off of the site
why's it chill for staff to do it?
i'm losing more and more respect for staff by the second
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 05:24:39 pm by hoofiebeast »
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Offline NightF0x

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2015, 05:22:21 pm »
My comments from last year are horrible. I will not deny that. They were inappropriate and have fostered such a hostile environment on the forum. I apologize, I do not care if you forgive me or not, but just know that I am going to accept responsibility for everything I personally said. I apologize to you as well hoofiebeast. I'm not going to give any excuses or try to defend my actions, I'm taking responsibility for everything I've said. What I said was awful and extremely poor of my own character and a poor representation of what this site stands for. I feel I need to owe up to my harmful actions. 

As an extension of this I am stepping down as a site mod and leaving FT, if the admins decide further action is necessary then so be it. I hope that this can give some closure to those involved with these incidents. I know I cannot right my wrongs and have caused too many issues. For that I apologize greatly and hope that with me gone, the forum can move forward in a better direction.
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Offline The Woolly One

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2015, 05:39:59 pm »
We don't normally disclose if a member is punished or not, but since we have to answer for all of our mistakes, I'll say that that staff member did receive punishment. And we didn't allow most of those posts to stay up, I think. The fact that they have a relationship with a member of the staff had nothing to do with it.

I can't really answer for the second one, because even if it was over a year ago, it totally wasn't okay. I don't condone it at all now. Ever since that was leaked, we completely changed management of staff conduct off-site. We no longer rant about the forum and its users, and our activity of Skype is reserved only for casual discussion and minor issues. But it still doesn't excuse that.

It's fine if you want to post about my involvement in all of that. You're right, I've ruined a great community. I want to apologize to anybody that I've hurt or that has felt victimized by the staff. I never wanted anybody to feel victimized or excluded. That isn't what this community was made for.
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Offline Assan

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2015, 05:42:33 pm »
Okay here it goes, all the mods need to be talking here, all of you and people you cant hate on all of them for the wrongs of a few, and yeah I know they are big wrongs, I wont disagree there but you cant hate all for that. Look at Icee for example she is trying to help, trying really hard. We cant solve stuff without people wanting to help solve it instead of only yelling into this mess. I want to thank all the people though that have voiced their concerns though, we need that to. Now is the time to fix it, or at the very least talk about fixing it.

this isn't the wrongs of a few
they all knew about it
:/ :/ :/

anyways

y'all banned fjordy for mocking users off of the site
why's it chill for staff to do it?
i'm losing more and more respect for staff by the second
My point was that we need to, Think of the solution not the problem

I think first step is apologizing as Daimhin and NightFox have done
Next how are they to earn back respect and trust
third what are the other problems
and so on and so on
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 05:47:26 pm by Assan »
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Offline ★Panda★

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2015, 05:48:43 pm »
Honestly I forgot about that.

I think its important to note that that was over a year ago now (I think it was May-ish?). While that doesn't make it okay, and I myself am disappointed in my own actions there, I have evolved past that. I used to be pretty bitter towards tumblr culture for personal reasons so yes, I made fun of identities and social justice warriors. That was a rough patch both in my life and with the staff, and its something that hurts to remember.

I know nobody will believe me when I say this, but again, that's not something that happens usually. What I said was pretty fucking terrible and disrespectful, and for that I'm truly sorry. I am owning up to it, and I'm not going to edit the post because I think everyone deserves to see this.

I put on a positive face for the forum, and I try to be as nice as I can be, but sometimes I get stressed and upset, just like everyone else. This incident has actually privately been brought to the table before, and I was able to learn from my mistakes. I have since taken to managing my stress in other ways (the rest of the staff can attest to this). I am human. I'm not perfect and nice 100% of the time. It hurts looking at past me and I'm sure a few people here can sympathize with that. (For perspective, I now identify as things that I would have made fun of a year ago.)

So, Hoofiebeast, I apologize. I do not expect your forgiveness or for you to accept my apology even, but its there. What I said was wrong and I can only imagine how it affects you. I also apologize to anyone else offended, as I know my blanket statements about identities and privlege are probably hurtful to other people here. It was a one-off thing, and I do not feel that way about people any more.

And to anyone else: if you all want me to step down, I will. I realize this is a side of me that probably changes everyone's opinions and I respect that. The only thing I can do is explain that I've changed, and hope for you to believe me and accept my apology. I take my job here extremely seriously, and comments like this are in direct violation of what I'm trying to do here. So, if my leadership makes people uncomfortable now, please speak up.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 05:55:22 pm by Icee »
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #26 on: August 10, 2015, 05:51:24 pm »
Props to Night, Panda, and Gage for apologizing and such. Even though I wasn't personally involved, I forgive you all. We all make mistakes but we eventually mature. I would hope and like to believe that you all have matured and hopefully will not make the same mistakes again. You both have great things to offer, but sometimes we step out of line.
As long as you have admitted and recognized your mistake and hopefully have worked it out the victims personally, I forgive you both :)

Also to add personally I think yall deserve a second chance. As panda said, that was a year ago. I don't think it's necessary to step down, just don't make the same mistakes again.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 05:56:54 pm by Xantera »

Offline Assan

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #27 on: August 10, 2015, 05:54:21 pm »
Thank you Icee and thank you Xantera for that

Everyone I need to say one more thing, I don't believe we should just force them to step down, especially not right away while passions still run hot at seeing this.
First gave them the chance to show they have changed, I for one know Icee isn't like this, not normally, I am shocked, and did not believe it was her until she said so herself.

How do they gain our respect back?
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Offline guapo

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2015, 05:57:24 pm »
i appreciate it that you apologize for said incident.

this issue is that this was only one discussion. i have no reason to believe this same discussion hasn't happened again, nor any reason to believe staff hasn't talked this way about other users.

i was thirteen years old when someone send me the logs for that discussion. staff mocked a mentally ill thirteen year old who was figuring out their identity. when i read it it really messed me up. off the site i went back to staying in the closet about my identity. an incident like this had never happened to me, and i didn't know how to cope with it.

i'm older now, and i know how to deal with situations like that. i cannot speak for other users. there are many 13 and 14 year old users on the site that i don't want this to happen to. this was older teenagers and young adults making fun of a child.

i know that you're a better person now, icee. i've seen in on the forums. however, i haven't seen the same evolution in the personalities of other users and staff.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 05:59:50 pm by hoofiebeast »
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Offline Assan

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2015, 06:02:06 pm »
Thank you Hoofiebeast

Now how can they show if they have at all that they improved and show they are sorry for their actions against you.
Basically is there a way to prove themselves to you.
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Offline STERLING

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #30 on: August 10, 2015, 06:02:39 pm »

i know that you're a better person now, icee. i've seen in on the forums. however, i haven't seen the same evolution in the personalities of other users and staff.

I can personally account for Gage. I'm sorry I can't for Night as I have not had direct contact with him.
But as for Gage, from what I've seen he's very respectful and kind. He is mature from what I can tell and is an overall good person. For Night, I haven't seen anything recently from him that could be counted against him.
We are all young and dumb at one point, hell I've posted stuff here I'm not exactly proud of (nothing to attack anyone though) but we grow up, and change.

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #31 on: August 10, 2015, 06:04:20 pm »
I think it's pretty clear that I and many others don't care for an apology. If all I wanted was an apology, I wouldn't have made this stuff public. An apology, whether said publicly or privately, doesn't change anything. While it may be a display of remorse, it serves only as a promise for improvement, and seeing as how these incidents have made me lose all trust and respect for you and most of the people on your staff, that promise holds absolutely no weight. Furthermore, I feel that new leadership would be the only way for me to look at this site with any sort of promise or hope. As it is now, I refuse to see this site as anything more than a poorly-ran forum with an ineffective and dishonest staff promising to keep things under control to a membership base that has no reason to trust them. While I do think that people can change, I don't think that, after any of this, it would be right for anyone involved to keep their positions on staff. After these series of events, no one has any reason to believe that you or anyone on the staff during said events has at all changed. It's easy to say you've changed, but actually being able to prove it and to regain everyone's trust in you is something else entirely. I don't think anything can change for the better for the site or its users until new leadership is brought in, leadership that can actually be trusted and respected. I apologize if any of this has come off as harsh; I am judging you and your staff as leaders more than as people. I wish only to see that this site has staff that people can trust and respect, and in my mind, that can't happen until all involved choose to step down.
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2015, 06:05:49 pm »
Thank you Xantera

People we need more than these few people to actually solve this, both Mods and just the random people of the forum need to speak up. Mods you need to show you are actually there and concerned/sorry/ect... people you need to voice your concerns. Everything needs to come oout in the open now, please
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2015, 06:08:20 pm »
Flint the Wolf, I understand what you mean, but this is a step by step process to solve and heal. Just stepping down is not going to gin your respect back either is it. Let them say sorry and then go to how they can fix this and show they have changed, each one of them is a different person, and yeah maybe some do need to step down, I wont disagree, but first we all need to talk.

I am sorry if it feels like I am attacking you, but you most likely speak for more than just yourself

Ps. Sorry for double post, first one was supposed to be before his
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2015, 06:08:52 pm »
To be honest, I don't even think it's fair for me to come back. Not when my past misconduct has been publicly outed. I don't think anybody will ever feel safe approaching me about their problems, and I don't expect those involved to want to forgive me. What I've done is incredibly wrong and I feel awful because those involved that had to see this. I honestly don't think I'm fit to admin this community now that this has erupted. It's probably best for me to leave.

Again, I know it doesn't mean much at all, but I'm sorry to everyone that's ever felt wronged while I've been in a staff position on FT. I don't want this site to die, and I hope that it can receive suitable management after I leave.
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2015, 06:10:55 pm »
i'm older now, and i know how to deal with situations like that. i cannot speak for other users. there are many 13 and 14 year old users on the site that i don't want this to happen to. this was older teenagers and young adults making fun of a child.

This is actually an issue that was brought to the table amongst staff shortly after this happened.
The staff Skype chat and our mission statement went through an overhaul after this, because we wanted to ensure this didn't happen again. And, to my knowledge, its not.

We recognize this is a problem as it definetly goes against the safe space we build here. FT will never be a place to find things to make fun of, and it was wrong of us to make fun of users while punishing members for doing the same thing.

And Flint, I understand what you're saying completely. While I don't think a complete overhaul would be for the best (its hard enough to build a staff base one-by-one as it is), I guess its a possibility. I for one would like to stay on, because I have bigger plans for this site's future; but I also understand if people don't trust me any more. So, yes, further input would be appreciated.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2015, 06:13:41 pm by Icee »
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Offline Assan

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2015, 06:16:49 pm »
Thank you Daimhin and Icee

Again I would ask that people contribute to speaking, even if it a little bit and you don't know if it will really help and can we wait for stepping downs until people really talk about how to improve the situation and have more ideas
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Offline Goat angst

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2015, 06:17:55 pm »
Assan you have a good head on your shoulders.... Don't forget that. Anyway I do have to say that we did mess up and yes just saying sorry isn't going to help. We will try our best to earn your guys respect back. I know I'm the youngest staff member and my words may not mean much, but I know you guys deserve to be treated as equals and to know that we care deeply. I do aplogize if my wording is weird also.
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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2015, 06:19:35 pm »
I agree with Assan. This isn't something that just others can read and not post about. In order to improve things we need all staff making comment on it as well as other members of whom have problems with things. Change can't happen unless you voice your opinion, understandings can't be reached if you remain silent.

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Re: Honest Concerns
« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2015, 06:20:10 pm »
I think from what's going on, I think the mods are going to take this as a lesson and hopefully improve upon this.
I really think yall need to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them a second chance, and if you do not believe they have not improved or changed then we go along with mod termination and such.